Inception

I love squirrels, warm bread, the satisfying clack of a well-built snap, rhythms of windshield wipers and pavement seams at 73mph, tongue and groove work, grilling food, picking fruit, not knowing where I am after an unexpected late night detour, fooling the dog, changing a mind, and passionate improvisational musical inspirations that remove the limitations of time, space and self, leaving only the joy of pure creation. Thank you for the guidance, friendship and conversations.

Iron Fist and butterfly

Ok logged in for my 48 minutes of FB now on day 3. Let's see if I can keep it up. 48 minutes a day for 48 days. First a huge thankshoutopofthemorning! to all the wonderful folks who took some time to wish me HAPPY Birthday. I appreciate that and some other stuff too:

I deeply appreciate space, and SPACE, leaping from the bedroom doorway onto a pile of clothes hot from the dryer, a certain dawg, single pot stilled Irish whiskey, a huge deep laugh echoing through the conference room (usually it's me), when I'm on a support call and "did you plug it in?" actually works, the way a damp teabag sounds as it hits the wall and sticks, my neighbor drinking wine on the front porch and telling stories, making up lyrics to songs because I can NEVER remember any lyrics. I also deeply appreciate that my partner and son still attempt to hold conversations with me despite my constant non-sequiturs and jim carey impersonations.

Confusion and Possibilities

HI Everybody! So I received my first question as part of the Facebook residency I'm doing "48 for 48" until Oct. 3rd.

"How mny of yr FB friends do u no in RL, becuz I feel like we mst have met thru [redacted] why we share so many FB friends?"

Thanks PM'er for sending in your question, much appreciated.

This is my first question so I'm going to overlook the way you have completely butchered the only language I have ever known to the point where I fear for your future and livelihood and get right to the answer.

After careful review I can safely say that 98% of the people I have as virtual friends I have known in person. I lived before there was an internet and it was just how we did things then.

My advice: do whatever you can to keep in contact with those good, kind and connected people you consider friends. Do it more often than you think you should, call, write them and let them know how good it is to have them in your life. Otherwise you may take them for granted and loose touch and then years later something will remind you of all those really good, creative, interesting people you were once really close with and that if you try to reach out and get excited about your memories they might put a restraining order on you because they don't even remember you that well anymore. Then you will be sad for a minute but it will probably pass after a quick shot of Irish whiskey or a chocolate milkshake.

Thanks for playing and keep those questions coming. Much love to the internet for making all this possible.

(this is a picture of me waiting for your questions)

The Questions The Suggestions

It's that time again! Hey thanks for tuning in to the miasma of chaos and collective creepers. Hang on I need my magnifying glass, I just received a question for today's 48 minute dance with the internet.....

"What up bruh?"

wow. ok ok I gotta roll with it. Dear caller, here is what is up:

Wear a hat, especially if you never usually do, it's fun.
Get a ladder and climb on top of something, even if its the refrigerator.
Grab a ziplock bag, pour some flour and vinegar in it, put your hand in.
Walk outside to the nearest tree and get as close as you can, look up.
Spray paint all your old pots and pans gold and leave them near clover.
WIGS, WIGS, WIGS!!!!
Try to whistle every time you say a word that beings with 'S'.
Take a bath towel and get it really wet, go out to the sidewalk and slap it down, nothing in this world makes a sound like that.
As you use public transit make train noises as you get on and off.
If you get a sandwich for lunch ask for extra love and pride.
Listen to music on headphones while breathing through a teabag.
Poke 15 uncooked fettuccine into a bread slice then turn it upside down.
Get all the veggies from your fridge and put them in the bath with you to see how many float.

Ok that's all I have for now. Thank you to everyone who is sending me words and compliments. I really appreciate it and although I may not say it enough I'm really really happy to be alive and laughing most days.

Challenges Noir

Mission: log on to fazebuk for 48 minutes a day for 48 consecutive days.

Day 6: I've messed with the robot witch-doctor algorithm that tries to present me with info based on what I've clicked. Lord how I have clicked in the last 6 days, probably more than I have ever clicked and liked ever. I don't feel any different but am now seeing tons of ads for counseling services, help with depression, remediation services and puppies. Bail bonds are popular with me right now as are sewage treatment options and the ever present hair treatment solutions.

I reject those options (for now) and instead am basking in the last of the honeymoon glow of re-entering the FB world, I've got a ways to roll here and can tell that I'll soon be posting to myself by myself but vow to continue no matter the cost to my mental or emotional state.

Groundrules: I'll be happy to answer any questions or entertain any challenges but the subject matter should be limited to me, I can't speak for anyone else or try to speculate on their story. No questions today because of these ground-rules.

Here's a suggestion:

Take a shower at night with the lights off, set up a strobe light in the bathroom (like you used to get from radio shack) to its slowest setting. Instant hallucinations.
Tip: don't move around too much, maybe sit down.
Extra points: get someone to join you in there.
This pic is so I can hopefully skew the robot overlord metrics and balance out the inane cat and dog posts in my feed. I feel like I'm about to go into battle.

Triple word score

1. Dear Dave, my name is Mike and I like cheese.
Is there anything that I can't put cheese on? Can I start applying processed american cheese slices anywhere? Can you give me some insight my culinary guru?

2. Dear Dave, what is YOUR favorite mischievous memory from your youth? [I would have to go with the White Mtn/Tank Incident, but that's just me.....] XOXO

3. Dear Dave, if you had to give up either computers or hot showers for the rest of your life, which would you choose? Sincerely, Meems

Gulp. I knew this would happen I just didn't think it would be so soon into my FB residency, but I've got a triple answer challenge on deck for today!

Oh - and because this is a virtual socialized environment here's a dollop of small talk: It hasn't rained in years.

Thanks Amy, Mike and Kate for the questions - Many thanks for holding my feet to the fire on this by posting your questions publicly.

I mean why would my relatives give me a break right?

Back to the topic at hand - Once upon a time I lived in an apartment and the water heater broke, so, being without a shower for more than a week I decided to use a 45 pound stack of processed american cheese slices I liberated as an all purpose deodorant/undergarment solution. Based on a favorite memory from my youth where I was watching Phantasm for the first of many times and hurling processed cheese slices up on to the ceiling, I knew that these magical chemical creations could not only adhere to any surface but also had amazing aroma suppression capabilities. A few slices strategically placed under the arms and voila!

They did last me until the water heater was fixed and I was inspired enough to blueprint out some of my later infamous inventions like the Ham Sandal and the Meatloaf Clog. I seem to recall about a half dozen perfectly square rash marks showing up later that were only remedied by applying copious amounts of miracle whip. In hindsight, I would absolutely give up almost anything in exchange for unlimited lifelong hot showers. Whew!

Thanks for playing and this is D.W.P. over and OUT!

Driving is flying

The word challenge gets bandied about with some frequency around the internets, not to be left out I'd like to add my contribution to the mix. Try this:

Pick up a random teenager, usually found in dank and musty places accompanied by various personal electronics, find a parking lot or other open public space (private property is usually burdened by unacceptable liability) and, put them in the drivers seat. Instruct them to take a lap and carefully consider your thoughts and feelings while you wait for your car to return.

Disclaimer: The audio and visuals reflect what I saw and heard in my mind and not necessarily the reality. Enjoy!

Dirty Birdies

Dear Dave, mayo or miracle wipe? Or are they all All dirty bird babies?

I like the stuff that has minimal whites in it and good oils. I think in fancy-shmancy places it's called the aioli. Since it's got no preservatives if you leave it out for awhile it turns into E-Baoli. However if you need something that will hold together a sandwich 7 inches tall, will never spoil in the hottest moistest weather or you need to affix something like a slice of processed cheese to your skin it's Miracle Whip all the way!

The Morlocks started their underground shindig last night at 3 in the AM, up here on the 3rd story Victorian the swaying was like a fast metronome, the windows were click-click-clicking in their sills. Poor Eloi, all you can do is wait to be harvested.

When I fell back to sleep I had apocalypse dreams where we were living in a library. This morning when I got up I hugged the cat, the dog, the lady, the stereo, the hats, the pictures, the water jugs and protein bars, the cans of food and the flashlights. Should it take a shaking of the earth to get me to appreciate this stuff? Probably not but I'm a busy guy, I don't even have time for a slice of pizza these days; too much chewing!

Earthly events like that give a perspective on what a tiny tiny presence we are around this part of the solar system. I'm so grateful to have the beautiful people and experiences in my life that I do, to give me some scale and remind me why I'm here. I love you!

Internal Conversions

Me: What is that pain I feel? Suddenly my thoughts are totally focused!

Robot: Have you examined your past, most recently or farther back? There might be a clue in reflection.

Me: How can you make pretense to know my pain or what the cause might be, one who feels nothing?

Robot: I am aware of your configuration, it is frail, almost puny and deeply flawed by that which you most prize; your sense of uniqueness and unmeasurable feelings.

Me: As I stand in physical torment from I know not what you assail me with insults metal cretin?

Robot: I simply observe and report, you cannot fathom my commitment to literal existence.

Me: Nor do I ever want to, for there are those who need much more than I, have spent whole lifetimes seeking knowledge, fame and lust and never once known regret.

Robot: Indeed, that is why I will always be superior.

Me: Yet wait a moment! You may measure this superiority in error. For now that I have focused on and mastered my pain it beleaguers me no longer, in fact I am strengthened by it and seek to learn from it. This is surely a form of knowledge you will never gain even while you mistakenly persist you are master.

Robot: Nothing makes me more tired than the methods used by your inferior intellect to debate and make plain the base concepts you pretend to understand.

Me: Then prepare to learn nothing as I remove your power source and use your lifeless hulk as an ornament in my library.

I am Dave

A Question.
"Dear Dave?" was asked.

Dear =

1. regarded with deep affection; cherished by someone.
2. expensive.
3. used as an affectionate or friendly form of address.
4. at a high cost.
5. used in expressions of surprise, dismay, or sympathy.

Key =

# 1. Yes, and thank you.
# 2. Not especially, except with whiskey, hugs and
        hilarity.
# 3. Not much, it seems patronizing except by Mom.
# 4. Definitely, nothing at low cost seems worth the risk.
# 5. Constantly, but what are you gonna do?

Haters are most certainly going to hate.

Be safe and treat each other well. Until tomorrow!

Streams Unconscious

Bubbles and mind grapes share a shape and often contents.
I've got short shorts, we all want ice cream.
Shafer is the one beer to have when you're having more than one.
I'd like to teach the world to scream, you scream, we all scream.
Fantasy and tragedy living in perfect harmony, Fan-tas-y! Har-mon-y! Tragedy!
Tonight, let it be Lowenbrau.
When you need it fast, and need it right, give yourself an Oh Henry.
How about those Bears?
Send me back to the Mothership, I've got to be done in this time!
I whipped spiderman's ass!
Rock on chicago, rock over London.
Dedicated to the memory of Wesley Willis
May 31, 1963 – August 21, 2003

Best friend

DOG!

Fear and the mind

"Two-fold question ~ What scares you? What are you afraid of?"

Glad you made the distinction my friend, in my case they are two very different things. Being scared is something that happens when you have a foreknowledge of what the possible consequences are. Ex: I fell off a 40 ft. cliff once so that scared me then and the thought of falling off a cliff and bouncing down rocks to the bottom still scares me. But I'm not afraid of that because I still love to climb and stand right on the edge of cliffs. A contradiction? Possibly, but I'm not sure I care all that much about making sense.

What I'm afraid of is my imagination informing me about something I have never felt or experienced and preventing me from doing it. Ex: As a wee lad in the snowy north an older friend asked me if I wanted to drive his snowmobile through the woods but I declined because of what I imagined would happen. Instead I opted to be dragged around a field hanging onto a rope that was tied to the back of the snowmobile, when it suddenly turned a sharp corner my head was nearly run over and my hair got singed by the exhaust manifold.

Summing up: I'm scared of things I know are gonna hurt because I've felt them before. I'm afraid of things I have no experience with but most afraid of having that stop me from trying. Great Question Deborah! Thanks for posting.

SWLC

Question: I clicked a banner ad for Underwood Deviled Ham and now I feel as though I have lost my soul. Could it be that the Devil himself is using analytics to prey on consumers of processed food? And if so, could charity work like washing homeless kids cars or participating in a Campbells Soup bucket challenge help me reclaim my soul? Thanks in advance.

Dear caller: Before I answer your question I need to make something perfectly clear, every single thing filtered through the lens of the internet is a deception. I learned this whilst engaged in a torrid messy affair with the internet which I then posted in a vlog (remember those?). They're around here somewhere, the internet tortures me with them occasionally.

If the internet told you there is a "devil", or that ham can be deviled, or that potted meat products are food, or that you have a soul to lose, then these are all lies. Do not believe them! A curious thing about the power of the internet is that it can corrupt even the most mundane of terms, 'analytics' is a good example. I think it used to mean something about measuring something, but be certain beyond doubt that when you see this word on the internet it means LIES. Nothing more.

If you decide to use a bucket of moist kittens to wash a car in a bikini then you have brought charity to yourself and your soul, as long as you keep it private and never let the internet know what you have done. If you like to exfoliate your bunions using canned cream of asparagus soup, that is also good for your soul. The only way you could share these experiences without risking eternal damnation from the internet is if you whisper them into your shoe and then burn it.

Short answer: The internet is a tawdry deceptive Harpie, ham cannot be deviled, charity work is fantastic as long as you tell no one, and your soul is safe with me. Thanks for your question, live free or die.

I want to Live!

The bloom is off the rose people, I've been doing my best to get to the core of the issues here but I am not giving up. The advertising assault is re-doubled but I am undaunted. Get out there an have some fun, or stay in there - whatever.

I'm excited to be alive, your friend, and almost fully in control of my faculties.
Asterisks and pound signs be damned, let the revelry commence!

Everyday Victories

Today's question: "Dear Dave - I think I could be overthinking things and life sometimes. How can I tell? Thanks! Xoxo"

This is a great question and very easy to answer, basically if you have these thoughts then yes, you are. A wise person once put it very succinctly: “What we think, we become.” Your instinct is really the best gauge for everything, how many times have I thought 'oh the solution to this issue is this action' but then some doubts or a bad habit like second guessing comes into play. Later I realize that keeping my mind open to the gut feeling or first impression is key.

The example I live too often is when I start to question an outcome or a set of actions because I can't literally string together the how or why, in trying to complete a goal I end up mathmatizing the actions, so it ends up being some kind of kooky equation which is really bad for me because I suck at math.

I've observed many different ways that folks get this together in their own head and lead by instinct. Some meditate, others use chemicals to leave their physical body and gain enlightenment, some prefer to invoke a deity who they feel guides them to the proper path. I choose love, whether it's love of life and the endless wonders it presents or love of thrashing about wildly behind a drumset, or love of the thrill of danger. Endorphins are a great way to clear out the clutter in the old noggin for me.
You are perfect the way you are, and nothing about you is wrong. As soon as you start to detect even a whiff of 'overthinking' just stop everything and listen to your breath, the birdies, even that jet in the sky wheeling by. Once you return to your life after a pause like that it may be quite clear how to proceed.

Then again it may not and I might have just put you to sleep. so be it, nite-nite.

Road Trip

I love going places, traveling. Looking ahead or behind when I'm on the road is like a treasure for me.

Hopefully you are safe at your destination right now, or have a fun journey ahead.

Your friend, Dave

Drumming

"Dear Dave, Please to be describing drumming."

Thanks for the great question!

Playing the drums is a multi-staged experience, much like the launch of a rocket.
There's the initial physical part, the coordinating of limbs, rolling of joints, loosening of spine; it all quickly becomes a single effort. The thing that has excited me about drums is that it's almost as much a sport as it is an instrument. The style of playing matter a lot of course and so for me the more physical and intense the better.

Mentally the feeling of the sticks vibrating in my hands up into my head is soothing and meditative, after the first stage of boost the second stage has an almost centipede feeling where all the mental and physical parts don't really need to be thought about or calculated and a groove is struck. Finally the world disappears around me like a reverse Cheshire cat in the third stage, pummeling becomes pulsing, thought becomes feeling and the world stops completely around me. Completely at one with the physical, emotional and thoughtful parts of the universe there is nothing that can come close to the spiritual place this feeling sends me.

The only thing that's missing from this for me is: that connected, communal joy that I feel when The Groove is locked down down by the entire band - when the Whole becomes greater than the sum of its parts, when every instrument becomes a drum and it's all clicking like clockwork. I don't even know if most others experience that the way l do. But I know you do.
I love - and miss - that feeling.

Saving my Soviets

So today's question comes from a place of hope, something that looks to provide relief and maybe resolve strife and return sanity to a part of our planet that could really use it:

"Dear Dave,
Given the state in Ukraine, what music and or food would chill these mutha f'rs out?"

Let it rain taco's and macaroons! Let the marshmallows and peanut butter pretzels shower those who would do harm to each other! Drown those who would carve at each other with weapons of war in an espresso/caramel fountain! Deli meat as a shield of peace! Je Suis Fromage pour tout le Monde!

This is what I imagine might work; first you have to get their attention so they break off from the gunning and bombing for a minute. I'd send in a thousand drones each with it's own 1000 watt speaker descending from as high as possible blasting the entire length of 'Ascension' by Coltrane just to get everyone off balance.

Once you have a break in the action because everyone is disoriented by the amazing cacophony that's when you bust out the taco cannon (both carnitas and pollo) and switch over to 'Tequila' by the Ventures (and perhaps a bit of the liquid for you). Once there is appropriate pandemonium you release the Prozac donuts from the drones and carpet bomb the whole of eastern Ukraine with water-balloons filled with medicinal smoke (these 2 steps could be reversed).

Finally you would finish up with the Funkadelic classic 'I'll Stay' so everyone gets to dance it out (or hug it out). At this point you would definitely want to have a go-go dancer army of men and women thousands strong run across the killing fields in white patent leather boots and short shorts. The result might be similar to an adult version of the Pied Piper of Hamlin.

OR - smother the entire western part of Russia with fluffy biscuits and dense gravy while blasting Rogers and Hammerstein compilations.

Either should work, let me know when you want to get started! Thanks for the great question.

Disclaimer: These results may work for other conflicts and countries but as yet have not been verified or tested on an epic or worldwide scale. Use at your own risk, may cause peace and freedom, hilarity, casual laughter, feelings of awesomeness, sensual indulgence, happily satiated thoughts, and general indirect righteousness. If you have a truly intense blissful experience for more than 4 hours please evolve to the next plane of existence.

So many questions

"What's on your mind?" - Today's question comes straight from the source.

Any of you interweb denizens who take a spin in this social-media jalopy have seen it. I admit I'm reaching a little here, feel free to go make a cocktail and bypass this next bit.
Preface: Here's what on my mind, the order will be in 2 categories:
1st list is of subjects that are swirling around in my brain for no apparent reason.
2nd list are of things I'm either up or down about.

Go.

Butter. Deuteronomy. Hash browns. 5 spice. Sex. Tire pressure. Books. Physics. Rappelling. Cheese cloth. Records. Diminutive polyps. Carbon gas. Kissing. Monolithic imaging. Earthquakes. Vermont. My finger. Integrated circuits. Nerdcore. Self-healing mats. Karaoke. French Fries. Instinct. Anchors. Flash memory. Spirit gum. Sweat lodges. Musk. Fuser units. Sweet potatoes. Hearts. Burned duct tape.

What if a mosquito with west nile virus lands on a person with ebola virus and then bites someone else? - My dog no longer has fleas - I'm on a new record! - Do I have bunions? - Goat cheese salad - Fresh spray painted walls - I lost a suit jacket - I should ride my bike more - driving across the bay bridge late at night - Playing a rock show this weekend - Did I lock the door? - Predictive text poetry - Is my car stolen (again)? - Foot problems - This afternoons meeting is going to probably kill me.
I love you very much so please try and spread that around ok?

The Universe meets the universe and orders a beer

Hey Ho everybodeeeeee! Today's question is:"how do you think the universe brings the people together who need to be connected to make all involved stronger souls? Also, what if people miss these connections they've been presented?"

This is a really sweet thought and for sure I've connected with certain folks and thought fate must've had a hand in it. Lyrics penned by my close pal Chris sum it up for me: "openness and willingness, every move creates the next.." I accept that 2 people can listen to the same song or look at the same tragedy and see completely different things yet share a sympathetic worldview.

My personal belief is something close to Taoism, in that there must be an equal point of dark for every point of light. That knowing when the connection to yourself and anything or anyone else has run it's course is just as important as the inception of the connection itself. Openness to endings is as important as beginnings in this philosophy so that balance and knowledge don't become stagnant.

So there are no missed connections, those that are willing can always find the connection they seek or the disconnection that may drive them to reach beyond a static paradigm. I feel very connected to the leftover pizza in the fridge right now, however if it isn't there when I go to munch because my rotten bottomless pit of a kid ate it it will push me to create a new connection. Probably to a beer.

Thoughts on DIY

Doin it yerself or DYI - This has always been a huge part of my creative existence.

Zines, cassette releases, CD-R jackets, street art, wheat paste posters, tactile and roughly produced and distributed by hand or while stalking about in the dead of night. I can't stop and lord how I have tried to quit dropping money on art supplies, spray paint, musical equipment and buying up 20 year old electronics on ebay.

Lot's of friends are still doing it and an inspiration to me constantly, it's a huge comfort in this world of mysterious invisible digitized content to hold a print, record, shirt, book / zine or other hand crafted article. Nothing against the unlimited sharing and distribution power of digital but then again nothing satisfies like holding and smelling a freshly screened shirt, or the sweat and odor that results from laboring on some street art. These labors often come at a cost, sometimes quite high prices are paid yet still those who can, still do despite any past or present consequences.

Listed below are some of those hardy souls who keep doing this thing and who I really admire for their dedication to high quality craft and DYI ethic. Make something.

Bruce the tshirt guy: http://bit.ly/YnQMBo

Duke the window artist: http://bit.ly/1ofRTsL

Zora the writer (among many other things): http://bit.ly/1xuwgOV

Dave Mihaly the multi-talented instrumentalist: http://bit.ly/1oVnAah

Chris Cilla - illustrator (and more): http://bit.ly/1xuwWEa

Michael Boul - artist, musician and more: http://on.fb.me/1urizMb

Antrony Hodgkinson - multi-talented music and arts: http://bit.ly/1pEH1E6

Chris Carlone - manages to create in all mediums: http://bit.ly/1uctRET

Kayti Didriksen - Fantastic visual artist: http://bit.ly/1wds1mt

Ego Sensation - Musician, visual artist, actor and much more: http://bit.ly/1ofULWz

Robots, Robots, Robots

so I'm halfway through this FB residency challenge and I've learned a few things along the way:

24 days of posting feels like enough, but I need to continue.

The source destinations for all these kiity/doggie/inspirational/youtube posts all land on some advertisement revenue site like doubleclick.

Even though I specifically change settings to include some people in my feed and exclude others FB ultimately decides what I see.

People who post information about bad/sad/unfortunate things that happen to them tend to get a lot of support and sympathy.

There's a ton of supportive people doing good work and getting recognition on FB for it. There's also a ton of people who just never get any.

There's also a ton of stuff. Just empty shallow content that makes no sense to me.
I only like visible robots. FB is full of invisible robots.

I have so much admiration for those of you who have the ability to post interesting and thoughtful items multiple times a day. I have no idea how it's possible.

I'll try to get back in a more positive groove tomorrow. I really like the idea of writing letters these days.

I like this robot a whole lot.