There is no person; there is no institution that can absorb this. The disappointment and sadness of a 10 going-on-11 year old who gets his life yanked out from him. What makes a parent feel regret? I can tell you. But you might want to listen otherwise you are too self absorbed in your own life to even notice. How to explain that its all gonna break? There is no way. I still love you, and everyone you know because I know music. It has whats kept me sane through all this, 4 bands 3 recordings, and I gave my all time best during the process. Hurt and wounded but channeling that and focusing a bitter pill into some massive attack. Please believe in what you do, what you think and feel, the most relevant of tangents. Thanks for holding me and keeping me in your heart I can feel that, it helps with the meetings, and the conferences and the cleaning of the kitchen. The times I am alone in this dark hot house, if you have a deity if you feel like you have spoken to that source and it has answered I am there, because I believe. It brings me closer to the master of the universe, to the giant on the beanstalk. You wanna get it right and you wanna choose. So do I.