Triple word score

1. Dear Dave, my name is Mike and I like cheese.
Is there anything that I can't put cheese on? Can I start applying processed american cheese slices anywhere? Can you give me some insight my culinary guru?

2. Dear Dave, what is YOUR favorite mischievous memory from your youth? [I would have to go with the White Mtn/Tank Incident, but that's just me.....] XOXO

3. Dear Dave, if you had to give up either computers or hot showers for the rest of your life, which would you choose? Sincerely, Meems

Gulp. I knew this would happen I just didn't think it would be so soon into my FB residency, but I've got a triple answer challenge on deck for today!

Oh - and because this is a virtual socialized environment here's a dollop of small talk: It hasn't rained in years.

Thanks Amy, Mike and Kate for the questions - Many thanks for holding my feet to the fire on this by posting your questions publicly.

I mean why would my relatives give me a break right?

Back to the topic at hand - Once upon a time I lived in an apartment and the water heater broke, so, being without a shower for more than a week I decided to use a 45 pound stack of processed american cheese slices I liberated as an all purpose deodorant/undergarment solution. Based on a favorite memory from my youth where I was watching Phantasm for the first of many times and hurling processed cheese slices up on to the ceiling, I knew that these magical chemical creations could not only adhere to any surface but also had amazing aroma suppression capabilities. A few slices strategically placed under the arms and voila!

They did last me until the water heater was fixed and I was inspired enough to blueprint out some of my later infamous inventions like the Ham Sandal and the Meatloaf Clog. I seem to recall about a half dozen perfectly square rash marks showing up later that were only remedied by applying copious amounts of miracle whip. In hindsight, I would absolutely give up almost anything in exchange for unlimited lifelong hot showers. Whew!

Thanks for playing and this is D.W.P. over and OUT!